Category: Blather

New York City Mid-80s

I was looking at an historical blog the other day of photos taken around New York City in the 1980s. My one and only trip to NYC was in 1985 and I took a LOT of photos so why not post some? Unfortunately, I mostly took photos on the entire trip around New England, and the pictures I took in the city are mostly of me and my family being dorky. I didn’t have many plain old ‘scene’ photos. But here’s a few I could scrounge:


Oh my god it’s back!

In 2012, I got really sick and I was in the hospital for three-ish months. ย During that time, I didn’t renew this domain (because I had more pressing problems) and lost it to some Asian company who sat on it for years. I was really bummed about this because had been mine for, gosh, about 10 years or so, if not longer. It was my virtual home, and someone took it from me.

Last week, I saw an ad on my Facebook feed for Google domains so I went to look at what those were and whimsically decided to search for and WHAT THE HELL! IT WAS AVAILABLE AGAIN! So yeah, I snatched it back from the domain thieves who did fuck-all with it after they parked it. Mine, mine mine.

Soooo, I’ve been having a good laugh looking at 5 year-old posts left on this blog. I’ll be redecorating, and maybe this bit of brightness in my virtual world will spark me into writing again. I really hope so.

It’s so good to be home.

Battle of the Audio Canal

For the past seven days, I’ve been feeling like I just stepped off the teacups at Disneyland after Andre the Giant shared it with me and spun it off the rails. To say remaining upright is a challenge is an understatement.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, instead of morning sickness, I often felt faint. I may have passed out once or twice, I can’t remember. Before that, the only other time I passed out was at the doc’s office after a reaction to some meds. But before that, I experienced the one and only time I was so drunk I couldn’t see straight. Damn that cheap wine. We’re talking spinning rooms, lolling head, body made of rubber, incapable of sitting up in our booth at Golden West. I kept slipping on down to the floor.

I remember that night quite vividly because it was brought back to me last week when I began feeling dizzy for a few seconds every so often as I got ready for work.

I thought it would pass so I soldiered on, drove to work – except I had to pull over once when a dizzy spell hit. The reason I didn’t turn around and just go home is because of all the fecking days for this to happen, it was the day I needed to help man my newspaper’s booth at the new State Fair and get a live chat going. I had shit to do and I really thought it was a passing thing. Until I arrived at work.

I made it to my desk, feeling a bit hot and the dizziness was starting to become a steady thing. I sat down hard at my desk and leaned to the left, unable to get my bearings. Things began spinning and I began getting scared. I couldn’t think straight. Should I tell a coworker who was chatting nearby? Did I need to go to the ER? How could I get there? But I needed to get to the Fair. More spinning. Tears. Decide to call Grampa and ask for help. He had to get dressed and get down to me, and by that time my boss had come over to say hello and noticed I was not doing well.

From then on it was a blur of being helped to the bathroom because I was pretty sure I was going to throw up and absolutely did not want to puke at my desk in front of everyone. But I couldn’t walk without help. So now, I’m mortified and probably freaking people out but I made it to the bathroom, locked the stupid door out of habit and tried what I used to do when I felt faint when pregnant, which was run ice cold water over my wrists. No good though, and the puking began.

So now I’m making horrendous noises – and I can’t stress this enough: I HATE THROWING UP. It scares me when I have no control over my own body. And I am seriously regretting eating oatmeal for breakfast. I will probably never eat it again.

I hear people outside asking if I need help and I can’t remember if I answered. I just remember someone saying they needed the key because I must not have been able to make it to the door to unlock it.

Somehow the door was opened and my wonderful coworkers helped me to my grampa’s car. Pretty sure I was apologizing left and right. Probably crying. I was so embarrassed to cause such a scene, and added to that was I was miserable at the Fair.

Before I carry on, I just want to thank Sarah, Deb, George, Jack and anyone else who was there very much for your help. I also appreciated the well-wishes and offers of help this past week. It really meant a lot to me.

My grampa seemed to take the loooooong way to the hospital but eventually we made it and I ended up on my side on a bed, hooked to an IV as valium and something called zophran was dripped into me along with saline. God the spinning, it wouldn’t stop. I froze as the second bag of saline dripped and discovered the amazingness of the Heated Blanket. Threw up again after sneaking a sip of water. My mouth was so damn dry.

And after all that drama, the doctor pretty much said there wasn’t much that could be done other than ride it out. I got a prescription for Antivert which is given to people suffering from Vertigo – something I’ve never been afflicted with – and then he sent me home.

I slept. And slept. and then when I was tired of sleeping, I slept some more. I looked at my prescription: “May cause drowsiness.” Well fuck.

It is now a week later, and I am *still* having dizzy moments if I turn my head too fast, and I haven’t left my apartment but once when I decided to try walking down to the mailbox yesterday. I don’t need to hold the walls anymore when I walk around, unless I turn my head too fast and then I have a little oops moment where I might tumble over. But I haven’t felt nauseated since last Monday and I’m eating okay. Tonight I cooked a proper dinner and did all right until the end when I got a bit overwhelmed with dizziness and had to sit quickly.

But I can work on the computer now without feeling icky, which is pretty much my job, so after Labor Day tomorrow, I will go back to work. I can sit at my desk and stare at my screen and I should be fine.

I stopped taking the meds yesterday though. 1. So very tired of being asleep and 2. I felt like they just treated the symptoms and not the cause, so I am seeing how I do without them. So far, I feel about the same, just less sleepy.

I am so very tired of the dizziness though. I can’t stress that enough either. I don’t like this feeling. I didn’t like it that night I got so drunk I couldn’t see straight and I don’t like it now. It’s frightening.

Last night as I was falling asleep at 2am (have I mentioned how out-of-whack my schedule is?) I thought I could try some kind of visualization stuff. I I closed my eyes, held still and I pictured my inner ear. I have no idea what it looks like for real, but in my mind it’s all rather dayglo-y and an evil glowing blue blob has attached itself to my ear canal and it’s laughing an evil laugh as it tricks my brain into thinking it’s at sea. So I pictured millions of my white blood cells attacking the crap out of it. It was an epic battle but I think I fell asleep too soon so I’ve no idea how it turned out. I’m still dizzy though so I’m guessing the white blood cells are regrouping and preparing a frontal attack tonight.

Why am I blogging about this, especially when I haven’t blogged here in forever? I want to sort of document it in case it happens again. I don’t know what caused it, or why it came on so suddenly (the doctor told me this often happens to people out of the blue which is just weird to me.) I don’t know if I have some kind of infection I can’t feel inside my ear, or if this is the onset of a chronic problem (better not be!) or if this will clear up as mysteriously as it started and never happen again. I do keep hoping I’ll wake up and my stupid ear will have popped or something and I’ll be fine. No luck so far.

But I’m armed for battle tonight. Look out evil blue glowing blob, I’m going to kick your ass.

I haven’t written in a while

I’m sad to say this blog has sort of fallen by the wayside with the advent of things like Posterous, Twitter, Facebook and various other social media things I’m involved in. These days, when I have a passing thought I want to release into the wild, I end up doing it on Facebook or Twitter. If I find a funny video or pic, it’s easier to use Posterous. Blogging has become a lost form for me.

I’m not sure if I’ll rectify that, but holds sentimental value to me so it will remain as long as I’m alive. For the endless parade of Buffy and Angel fans who are pretty much the only non-family types to come here (thanks to the magic of Google) I hope my top ten lists of the best episodes of those series is entertaining. For family and friends who might wander through here, you can keep up with me, if you want, via the sidebar on the front page of this blog. All my lifestreamy, social media activities feed into there.

So basically, I’m here, but I’m not *here here*.

Oh crikey

I just looked at the date of my last post here and felt an immediate sense of guilt. Sheesh ๐Ÿ™

What’s happened since I got to hear my awesome daughter sing? Probably the biggest thing is I wrote a book. Yup! Years and years of wishful novel-writing and I finally stopped talking about it and did it, with the help of NaNoWriMo. Turns out third time was the charm! I tried in 2004, and then again in 2005. Both really weak-ass attempts. Then several years of whinging about how I want to be a writer but not actually doing much about it, until I found Ficlets. Bippity-boppity-boo, 2009 I won NaNoWriMo and I’m going to self-publish this sucker as soon as I edit it a few times ๐Ÿ™‚

Got a couple of freelance gigs I’m excited about. One for an annual festival the city holds and the other for a tile company. The extra money certainly comes in handy in this, the year of two paycuts.

The kidlet is doing well at college. She enjoys it I think. I still miss her terribly when she’s away but I’m getting used to it. She lucked out and had a roomie who moved out soon after the term began and they never found her another one, so she’s had a room to herself which she enjoys. I’d like her to have the roommate experience though. Everyone I know is after her to have the “College Experience” which I assume means going to parties and doing silly college things. She doesn’t really go out much that I know of, but I know she’s got several friends there, so in my book, if she’s happy doing her thing, then that’s cool.

Let’s see, this is taking on the feel of one of those funky ‘Here’s what my family’s done this year’ letters ๐Ÿ™‚ I actually like those. My Aunt Jo writes the best ones (Hi Jo!) because she makes them fun and funky ๐Ÿ™‚

Right now I’m in the midst of some Christmas shopping so I’d better keep perusing the web, hehe ๐Ÿ™‚ I should shop local, I know. I will, I promise. But the big wide interwebz has so much cool stuff!

That’s all for now! Will try to do better about blogging again now that the book is done (I have always wanted to say that!)

Balancing act

I’m trying to balance being a good parent who lets their child leave the nest, and a starting-to-worry parent who hasn’t heard from her child in an unusual amount of time right now.

I know what you’ll say. “C’mon Steph, she’s all grown up now and probably just busy with her college life stuff. Cut her some slack.” Believe me, I want to. I try to encourage her in that direction after hearing she’s finding her downtime from classes to be a bit boring. I asked if there are any club she could join or activities she could either take part in or go and watch. I know she would like a part-time job and maybe she’s out hunting one up.

But not a day has gone by since she left that there aren’t at least 2 or 3 text messages throughout the day. maybe an email or two (to say gnight usually) and once a week a phone call. I don’t think that’s too much, do you? Am I tugging too hard on the strings? I try to let her contact me when she needs me and no matter how many times I want to text and just say hello or see how she’s doing, I stop myself and think that I need to let her be.

But as I’m writing this, I haven’t heard a peep out of her since her last facebook post last night. No email, she’s not answering my two texts and at first I reckoned she was just busy but as time passes the horrible things going through my mind are getting worse and now I just want to know how you other parents out there deal with this? How did parents deal with this before Facebook and Twitter and cell phones? Am I just TOO dependent on all this tech?

I expect a certain amount of ‘well if you weren’t a facebook-stalking mom, you wouldn’t be worried right now.’ And maybe that’s true. But while I don’t consider myself that extreme when it comes to keeping tabs on her (we have both talked about the level of connectivity we have online and what she’s comfy with and so far it’s not been an issue. I really do try to giver her her space.) I DO worry that the level of connection I do have with her is leading me to worry unnecessarily when goes out of touch for a while.

I’m sure she’s just fine.


You may not know it from this blog, but I’m pretty active online. The problem is, I’m active in a bunch of different places, like Twitter, Facebook, Posterous, Audioboo, Twitvid, twitpic etcetera, etcetera.

(And shameless plug, but I’ve started a new website with my honey called Doodurls. What the hell is that? We thought it would be fun to collect the little things people doodle when they’re bored. We started it about a month ago, and in that time, so many people have sent us their doodles – and beautiful art – that we got noticed. We’ve been featured on TheNextWeb, Neatorama, College Humor, Entertainment Weekly, and we made it into the London Metro. Cool eh? It keeps us pretty busy.)

What I never seem to be able to do is find time to write here. So my quest is to find a way to incorporate all my various “lifestream” (I hate that term) stuff into this spot. Why is that important? It’s not. It’s just something I want to do. I’ll still post too, when I can. I have much to say about learning to live alone and watching my little girl make her first steps in the world. But until then, I want to corral as much as I can in one place.

In the mean time, might I suggest you check out the aforementioned awesome girl’s blog? Yesterday she gave blood for the first time ever, and she blogged the experience ๐Ÿ™‚