Ridiculous Thoughts

I love Snopes.com. It’s the first place I go when well-meaning friends or even bosses forward me the “Nine Tips That Can Save a Woman’s Life” (I found this in a quick Google search – it’s more than nine, I know but a lot of the tips are the same as the stupid email and come from the same source: a self-defense instructor named Pat Malone who allegedly works for the FBI) email that people keep taking seriously and so when they get it and read it, they freak out and think every woman on the address list should know this information.

The tricky thing is, the tips are written in such a way as to make them seem like common sense. Don’t fall for it. If you get crap like this in an email ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go check old Snopes.com and make sure what you’re getting isn’t complete codswallop.

Read what Snopes has to say about the tips.

See what I mean about it sounding like common sense? check out number three:

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

Sounds logical to me. Until Snopes points out:

The odds of being confined in the trunk of a car are slim to begin with, and they lessen when the extra requirement of the victim’s being placed in there with hands and feet unbound is added. Very few vehicles have tail lights that are accessible from the trunk, so even if one’s legs were free, there would be nothing to kick out to wave at others through.

A better plan would be to look for the glow-in-the-dark trunk release tab incorporated into some newer vehicles. Also, the back seats of many recent models fold down to accomodate the transport of larger items, so go deep into the trunk and push on the rear of the back seats to see if they open. If pushing fails, feel about on this area for knobs or levers that serve to latch the folding seat backs in place and work them.

I looked at my trunk and sure enough, there’s no way to access the tail lights from the inside and my car is a ’96.

Granted, there are things in the tips that have a grain of common sense to them such as locking your car door as soon as you get inside and before you start fiddling with your purse or cell phone or digging for keys. That’s a big “Duh.”

Anyway, I just felt like pointing this out in the vain hope of preventing a freaked out woman from forwarding the bad tip list around.

Christmas has been nice this year. It was quiet, marred only by the fact that the kid and my grandparents are battling nasty colds. I’ve been the only healthy one so far – until today that is. I think I’ve got it now. But I’m just on the brink you know? My skin hurts and I feel achy but so far the stuffy head and coughing hasn’t happened *knocks on a variety of woods*. I wish it would just hit me and get it over with. Or you know, not hit me at all 🙂 That would be nice 🙂

I’ve got to write a column this week. Better not forget to do that. I’m supposed to be writing about television I’m looking forward to in 2006. Hope I can fill 18 inches yakking about 24, Lost and Survivor 🙂 That’s about all I care much about. I don’t really watch sitcoms – not that I dislike them or anything, but with my spiffy netflix thang, that’s what I do in the evenings and there’s no particular sitcom I’m hooked on anymore. All the good ones ran their course.

Ok ok I should watch and support Arrested Development, the little show that everyone loves but no one watches. And apprently Everybody Hates Chris is pretty good. I hear a lot of people are fans of Nip/Tuck and House. I dunno, I just never started watching them.

Watching a 24 marathon on A&E today and they’re inundating me with ads for a show called Rollergirls. It looks kind of interesting. I didn’t know roller derbies were still going. Maybe I’ll check that out.

Anyway the head is aching so I’m going to close up the puter. Many thanks to Jo for my cool calendar – and Shan just adored the… I really have no idea what to call it … but the musical bowl thing – she was thrilled about it so thanks for that as well 🙂

Night night.

Head. Killing. Me.

I woke up with this fecking headache and haven’t been able to shake it all day. It’s an all over thing and it feels good to apply pressure behind my ears and base of my neck. But I can’t keep doing that all day or I won’t get any work done.

I wonder what brought it on. I’m caffeinated. I’ve taken the Aleve. I’ve eaten. Maybe it’s psychological. Or stress. Who knows. Xmas has been stressful but only because Shan’s been hard to shop for this year. Today is the anniversay of the day my dad died. No matter how I try to forget about it, I can’t help but think about him today as I do every year. It was a scary day. Maybe that’s why my head hurts.

Meh who knows. I should get on with some work although even that’s difficult to do today. Everyone’s in a festive mood and there’s food everywhere so there’s a general atmosphere of frivolity and easygoing-ness around. It’s really nice. I love working here.

This weekend the kidlet and I will spend Christmas eve with the Gs and I’ll be making mom’s yam recipe. Apparently I have her touch with them according to everyone who ate them at Thanksgiving. So this will be the second time I’ve ever cooked yams 🙂 Then Shannon and I will head home and futz around the house until it’s time to send her to bed and I can lay out the Santa stuff. Yes she’s 14 but we still do the whole Santa thing. When she was younger though we’d always read ‘Twas the Night before Christmas’ together after setting out cookies and milk. She wouldn’t go until we’d done that. I kind of miss that.

But blink and they grow up. Those of you folk who read this and have wee ones remember to cherish every single moment you can with them because soon they’ll be older and going to high school or college, driving cars and generally doing the growing up thing. Take lots of pictures, and record them a lot too – video and audio. I have some lovely tapes of Shannon and my mom reading stories together when she was a toddler that I just adore.

Anyway, then in the morning I’ll be cooking up a batch of my special french toast and maybe some bacon. Shannon’s going to whip up the hot chocolate and we’ll settle in and open pressies. It’s going to be lovely 🙂

I think I’m running low on my scrap metal content. Yesterday and today I’ve had to fight to keep my eyes open. So it’s either low iron rearing up or it’s too fecking hot in this building and the urge to be cozy and sleep is rampant. Either way I’ll be stocking up on the spinach and steak. Nothing says Merry Xmas like bloody meat and slimy vegetables 🙂

Had a bit of a row with the kid this morning when she storms out of her room at 20 past 6am because she’s panicked that she’s missing her orchestra breakfast. She was supposed to be there at 6am.

WTF is the orchestra teacher trying to do to me? I’m just waking up at 6am. And Shan is definitely not a morning person to begin with so my question is, is she trying to kill us? Because frankly I can’t tell you how much I look forward to being even more of a zombie at work because I had to get up at stupid o’clock to get the kid to a cheap restaurant. Unfortunately I had to break it to her that she just wasn’t going to make it. There was just no way on earth both of us could get ready for the day in 15 minutes.

She was a little miffed at me, but I thought it was a good lesson for her in making sure she’s prepared for these kinds of things instead of leaving them til the last minute and then forgetting to suss out the important details until I’m stumbling out of bed and she has to leave in 15 minutes.

Unfortunately upon arriving at work and reviewing the article in the paper regarding the event I found out that the damn thing wasn’t this morning anyway. It’s on Thursday. *sigh*

I’m kind of digging on Gael Garcia Bernal. Man… He’s amazing. And hot. And amazing. And did I say hot? Tonight I watched him in “Bad Education” which is an Almovodar film. Really excellent movie. After I was looking up user comments on the IMDb for the film and for Gael and found a link to this short film he did called “The Last Post.”

Check it out sometime if you’ve got 16 minutes to spare. It’s pretty moving.

Man I am so loving Netflix. All of these Gael movies I want to see and very few of them at the local vid shop 🙂

So yes, I’m digging on Gael but I’m not entirely sure whether it’s because he’s amazing or hot. The mood I’m in it could very well be that the man is just beautiful eye candy. But then again he’s done some interesting films that I’ve enjoyed and he’s impressed me in each role. There’s an intensity in him I like. Or maybe it’s the eyes. Or the lips.

Or maybe I’d better go take a cold shower.

Here is the Straight Dude’s Guide to Brokeback Mountain (thanks Mike) which I found amusing.

Thank Elvis I don’t have to worry about dragging some insecure “better half” to see it. Being single rawks. No, my only problem wil be finding a theatre in this red state where it’s playing.

In other news today, it’s snowing. Again. Well, not at the moment but it was on the drive to work. I think it’s going to be a rough winter. Also, Josh Fosbrink is leaving GMN. Today was his last day as weatherman. Maybe they’ll quit doing those annoying bus honks during the weather report now. Now if they could get Stacey Skrysak to stop enunciating every single syllable I’d be a happy camper.

Mmmmmm Earl Grey tea is da bomb.

Anyway better get back to it.

There’s nothing like Fanatical Christians to take the joy out of the season. Without getting into my own religious preferences, I just want to say that if I have to read one more comment, hear one more news story, come across one more holy-roller who tells me how I should wish seasons greetings this year I might just scream and celebrate it in July instead.

When this whole idiotic “War on Christmas” story came out a couple of weeks ago, I just sort of rolled my eyes and dismissed it from my mind. But apparently, dedicated Christians have glommed onto this nonsense issue in a big way and now everywhere I turn I have them dictating to me where I should and shouldn’t shop, how I should articulate my well wishes for my fellow man and dropping I’m-better-than-you comments on blogs I love to visit.

It’s pissing me off. And the thing that pisses me off the most is that the most vocal are the sheep who haven’t bothered to do their research. There’s no evil meaning in typing “Xmas” over “Christmas.” There’s no malicious, subversive intent when a shopkeeper says, “Happy holidays.” I don’t understand why this suddenly became an issue. Stores have been saying “holidays” for years. It’s a holiday season for crying out loud – Thanksgiving, XMAS, and the New Year. They’re just trying to cover their bases.

So basically I just wanted to rant about this freaking idiotic “war” and say, “get over yourselves morons.”

Happy holidays 🙂