{"id":375,"date":"2008-03-21T11:51:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-21T15:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/?p=375"},"modified":"2008-05-15T09:26:25","modified_gmt":"2008-05-15T14:26:25","slug":"yikes-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/2008\/03\/21\/yikes-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Yikes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So I&#8217;m walking along, pushing my cart, heading for the canned vegetable aisle. I turn the corner and run smack into an ex-boyfriend. Working as a stockboy. At Skagway.<br \/>\nLike a deer caught in headlights, we stared at each other for what seemed like a Very Long Time (but was most likely a split second.)<\/p>\n<p>And then I bolted.<\/p>\n<p>I made a mad dash for the dairy aisle and became extremely interested in yogurt flavours. WTF was he doing there? I thought he left town. Crap crap crap. All this running through my head while I figured out how I was going to pick up the diced tomatoes I needed and avoid him.<\/p>\n<p>He and I dated for several months not long after I returned home from England. I didn&#8217;t really know him, it was just sort of one of those things, how we met. I was out with a friend from work at a bar and well, he hit on me I thought he was cute and guys don&#8217;t hit on me much so we started dating. That sort of thing. He was a roofer at the time.<\/p>\n<p>But I had no idea I was dating a guy who, when he drank, did it to get completely falling-down pissing drunk, was a bit of a loser, and evidently fell &#8220;in love&#8221; at the drop of a hat. He became incredibly clingy. He would come to my job and hang all over me, trying to see how far he could ram his tongue down my throat until finally, I had to dump him. It was weird. I&#8217;ve never done the dumping before and I did it badly, as you can imagine. I mean, I&#8217;m all for PDAs and a little smoochiness, but there&#8217;s a time and place for that, and on the job isn&#8217;t it. Aside from that, he showed up at my house one night incoherent, drunker than any drunk I&#8217;ve ever seen and he crashed on my bed. And while he slept it off he peed all over the bed. I&#8217;d never been so disgusted in my life. Boy had to go.<\/p>\n<p>He came to the steakhouse, where I was waitressing at the time, for dinner soon after the &#8216;Stephanie bought a brand new bed and set fire to the old one&#8217; incident. Sat in my section, and I was kind of cold towards him. As I back and forthed between him and my other tables, I told him we should talk. He laughed and said jokingly, &#8220;What? You breaking up with me or something?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I froze and stared at him until he copped on to my meaning. He dropped his fork and began to cry. Right there at the table, tears. Thing is, I didn&#8217;t feel bad. Just embarrassed and relieved that he would soon be out of my life. If that makes me a bitch, as he came to call me later when the bitter drunk-dialing began, then yes, I am a bitch.<\/p>\n<p>Eventually the calls died off and I never saw\/heard from him again. I assumed he&#8217;d left town because this town isn&#8217;t that big. Eventually you run into folk, you know? So that&#8217;s why I was so gobsmacked to see him working in my favourite grocery store. I go there all the damn time. I&#8217;d never seen him there before. Argh. Now I&#8217;ll have to shop at Walmart. Grrrr.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s been a long time since I dumped him. I&#8217;m sure he got over it and who knows, maybe he&#8217;s got his act together now (tho.. he&#8217;s a little older than me. And working as a stockboy.) I don&#8217;t know. I don&#8217;t want to know. I just want to be avoidy.<\/p>\n<p>I have never and will never date another guy I met in a bar. Ever. That was the first and last time. Lesson well learned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So I&#8217;m walking along, pushing my cart, heading for the canned vegetable aisle. I turn the corner and run smack into an ex-boyfriend. Working as a stockboy. At Skagway. Like&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[38],"tags":[69],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=375"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":594,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions\/594"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}