{"id":58,"date":"2003-07-11T11:23:00","date_gmt":"2003-07-11T15:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/?p=58"},"modified":"2003-07-11T11:23:00","modified_gmt":"2003-07-11T15:23:00","slug":"58","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/2003\/07\/11\/58\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today I will get my work done and I will swim. I will not pop a video in until I have gotten a healthy dose of pure exercise. And I will not just float around the pool when the waves are on. I will stretch and jog in place. I will do laps while avoiding petulant little kids who blame you for getting in their way. I will let my daughter stay longer than I actually want to stay. I will be oblivious to all the hardbodies there flashing their little bellybuttons and letting their suit ride up so we can all get a good view of their ass. I will not so much as look at the chiseled, slick men as they gracefully glide through the water. I will swim against the small current in order to give my arms a good workout. I will do flips and handstands and I will teach my daughter to do them too. And most of all, I will remember, this time, to put my bloody sun deflectors up in my car because it get bloody hot in there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today I will get my work done and I will swim. I will not pop a video in until I have gotten a healthy dose of pure exercise. And I&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ukmelia.com\/ridiculousthoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}