Ok, back now. Calmer. I probably can’t/shouldn’t talk about it online much but the long and short of it is the paper went through some layoffs this past week, including 2 single moms, a guy who had just gotten married, and my very good friend. Two of the layoffs happened in the Online department, so yeah, close to home. And as anyone who’s been through stuff like this can attest, there’s a lot of weird feelings. Fear, guilt, anger to name three. Mostly fear and guilt though. Fear because it happened so damn fast and unexpectedly – in 15 minutes, the course of those four people’s lives were dramatcially changed. And guilt because you got “lucky” and were allowed to stay and you’re relieved it’s not you but then you feel like you shouldn’t be feeling relieved when people you know got hurt.

It’s very bizarre and I hope to never go through it again.

Knock on wood.

I thought all week long about what it would have been like if I had been let go too. If suddenly, the job I took a chance on 4 years ago when I left another job I loved to take this on and found I loved this one even more, it was taken away from me through no fault of my own. Would I land on my feet? Would I fall into depression as I’m prone to do. How could I provide for Shannon? How could I find another job as good and as great in this tiny market?

I’ve been through upheaval many times. Moved a lot growing up, rough, bitter divorce, death, and none of those were my choice, and I came out the other side just fine. Eventually. Even when it was my choice, such as when I upped sticks and moved to England everything worked out.

I think the same will hold true for my friend and for the others. It hurts. It will hurt. But things will work out. I think one thing my friend has already discovered is how many people cared about her and will miss her and would do what they can to help her. That’s a good feeling.

There’s not much more I can say about the layoffs. I don’t feel any safer, but all I can do is my job and hope for the best. Morale has taken a hit and everyone is shellshocked, but I’m hoping we can bounce back. I think we can, anyway. Still have a paper to put out.