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03/14/2003: "Coping"

I've been finding more and more blogs started by people coping with the death of a loved one. I wonder if it helps them. I know I sometimes need to write down my thoughts and feelings down when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It sometimes feels like my head will explode and the simple act of writing everything down somehow lessens that feeling.

I could probably fill a blog with all of the emotions I'm going through. I've lost my father, my mother and recently my aunt and not a day goes by that I don't flash on a particularly bad memory of all of their deaths. Seeing my aunt slowly and agonisingly deteriorate because of cancer. Being with her the night she died. Running into the ER to be told by my grandfather it 'doesn't look good' after finding out my mom had been rushed there after a 911 call. Waiting for hours for word on my father who was also rushed to the hospital several years before mom's death. Having to walk into the room and see my mother lying peacefully looking for all the world like she was asleep. I'm tearing up even as I write that last one. That's what keeps me awake at night and troubles my dreams when I do manage to sleep.

Do people write about all of this stuff in an attempt to get sympathy from strangers on the Net? Maybe some do. But I think most just want people to see it - people who are going through the exact same thing and let them realise they're not alone. Some people turn to their faith and rely on their God of choice to get them through the mourning period. Some, like me, bottle it up and try not to think of it, preferring the Scarlett O'Hara method of dealing with problems. And in this day and age, some people turn to a blog to help them deal with it. I think that's pretty cool.

I won't turn this one into a grief blog, but I couldn't help but comment on this new-ish way of dealing with loss. I like it and might start one myself. We'll see.

Replies: 30 Comments

OMG, I'm so sorry for what you have to go through!! sad
I lost my dad last year and I too turned my blog into a "grief blog" (well in part), mainly cuz the blog is about me and that was all I was about for a while.
Not sure if it helped me though. I think talking to people who've been thru the same helps more (at least you don't get pity).
I hope you will be strong.

Clarissa said @ 03/17/2003 03:29 AM CST

Thanks Clarissa. I am pretty strong and am coping okay. I just have moments of 'Argh' you know?

Checked out your blog - very nice!

Melia said @ 03/17/2003 12:15 PM CST

Yeah I can relate.
Sucks sad
I find it weird that so many people go thru such a loss and cope somehow... it's such an inevitable part of life after all.

PS thanks big grin

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