I've been finding more and more blogs started by people coping with the death of a loved one. I wonder if it helps them. I know I sometimes need to write down my thoughts and feelings down when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It sometimes feels like my head will explode and the simple act of writing everything down somehow lessens that feeling.

I could probably fill a blog with all of the emotions I'm going through. I've lost my father, my mother and recently my aunt and not a day goes by that I don't flash on a particularly bad memory of all of their deaths. Seeing my aunt slowly and agonisingly deteriorate because of cancer. Being with her the night she died. Running into the ER to be told by my grandfather it 'doesn't look good' after finding out my mom had been rushed there after a 911 call. Waiting for hours for word on my father who was also rushed to the hospital several years before mom's death. Having to walk into the room and see my mother lying peacefully looking for all the world like she was asleep. I'm tearing up even as I write that last one. That's what keeps me awake at night and troubles my dreams when I do manage to sleep.

Do people write about all of this stuff in an attempt to get sympathy from strangers on the Net? Maybe some do. But I think most just want people to see it - people who are going through the exact same thing and let them realise they're not alone. Some people turn to their faith and rely on their God of choice to get them through the mourning period. Some, like me, bottle it up and try not to think of it, preferring the Scarlett O'Hara method of dealing with problems. And in this day and age, some people turn to a blog to help them deal with it. I think that's pretty cool.

I won't turn this one into a grief blog, but I couldn't help but comment on this new-ish way of dealing with loss. I like it and might start one myself. We'll see.


Posted by Melia @ 10:59 AM CST [link] [30 Comments]

In the course of my travels around the Net, I invariably end up checking and re-checking the same places. That's the curse of forums but there you go. Anyway, I hardly ever get the chance to discover new sites unless someone sends me a link. I say all of this because lately I've been "discovering" some new sites that might end up being daily stops.

Bad Astronomy is the first one I came aross. This site has been around for a long time, I know - but hey, the Internet is a big place you know? I got reamed once for posting a link to a website I had never heard of or seen before(howstuffworks.com), and thought was really cool - but got a few sarky comments like, "Hey, you should check out Google.com! It's neat!" So I worry I'll look like an eejit when I post about websites I like. Anyway Bad Astronomy is pretty cool for anyone interested in astronomy because the mission of it is to disspell the myths of space. Remember that FOX channel program about whether the 1969 moon landing was an elaborate hoax orchestrated by NASA in n effort to 'win' the race to the moon? Well Phil Plait, an astronomer extraordinaire with the ability to explain his positions in laymen's terms for people like me who get lost in geekspeak, has an article about that show that refutes every single one of the show's hoax claims that was fascinating to read. He also reviews films such as 'Signs', 'Men in Black', and 'Armageddon', addressing the bad astronomy that can be found in them. Check it out!

Another site that was recommended to me is congress.org which is an excellent resource site if you want to find your congressmen, keep up with bills currently in congress or contact your reps regarding any of those bills.

I also trawl around a lot of movie news websites such as Dark Horizons, Ain't It Cool News and Zap2It. I don't have any cool contacts in the 'biz to feed me info so I comb sites like those and try to conglomerate the news I pick up (giving proper credit and links to those sites of course). I wish I could get the people who are joining my movie site to start participating and posting news of their own, or reviews, but they all seem to be shy or something. I'll have to think on that.

Anyway, enough for now, I may blog more later because I am loving this software!
Posted by Melia @ 09:32 AM CST [link] [33 Comments]

I posted this in my forum but I want to blog some more

Anyway, about 2 months ago I was out shopping and I spotted an art print that really captivated me. I wanted it, but it was a bit on the pricey sideand I didn't buy it. Weeks later that painting was still on my mind, so I figured if I'm still thinking about it, I must want it pretty bad. So I bought it. (And now that the freelance work is paying off, I don't feel guilty about it anymore, hehehe.)

So this is it:



I don't know why I love it so much, maybe the rich colours, or the interesting POV of the artist's eye (looking down on the bistro from above).. I'm not sure. It does remind me of some little cafés I went to in England so maybe that has something to do with it.

After I bought it, I wanted to see if I could find the artist online and see if he or she'd done any other works. Unfortunately, many artists are like physicians in that their handwriting is so illegible. I couldn't quite make out all the letters on mine other than 'jua' and 'mac'-something. So i plugged that into Google and whahey! Juarez Machado is his name . And it turns out that I'm drawn to a lot of his other works, particularly this one:



If anyone reading this likes this tiny sample, check out his official website.

I've got my Bistro in my living room and I just love it so much!
Posted by Melia @ 01:27 PM CST [link] [73 Comments]

Okay, I found a drawback to this software. I have to think up a fecking title everytime I post. I suck at thinking up titles. So many appy loggies in advance if the title has f-all to do with whatever I'm writing about.

This time though, I actually do feel good. I got my first big payment for the freelance work I'm doing and I have to say, the extra money is awfully nice. It's also getting closer to springtime which is a season I enjoy - provided it lasts more than a week. In Nebraska, we get about 5 months of winter, 6 months of summer and if we're lucky a bit of fall and spring. Today's pretty cool though as it's cold and foggy this morning, a bit like Monterey. *Sigh* I'll wreck my good mood if I go all wistful for Cali.

I'm still reading my city newspaper's forum, more lurking than anything else because I get too irritated by the bizarro warmongers. There's a couple of people on there that are cracking me up though as they keep getting off good zingers at the 'Bush is God' types. Makes for enjoyable entertainment anyway.

Also been hanging out at Emotion Eric's forums which are pretty fun. Check it out sometime. Nearly everyone there has a great sense of humour and they post a lot of entertaining stuff. Eric himself makes an appearance now and then. He reminds me of Scott Adams (of 'Dilbert' fame) in a way, with his sardonic sense of humour.

Anyway, will post more later. Need to get some work done now. Ta ra.
Posted by Melia @ 09:06 AM CST [link] [74 Comments]

So this is the reincarnation of Life Online using greymatter software. Anyone wishing to peruse the old version, it's still available here. I figured since this journal is now about a year old, I'd celebrate by giving it a bit of an overhaul . Still some tweaking to do, but I've been at it all day and I've gone cross-eyed. Thanks for visiting, feel free to come back anytime!
Posted by Melia @ 03:44 PM CST [link] [86 Comments]