Mrs. Frump

You must believe me when I say
I wasn't seeking Frump that day.
Looking back, I've come to see,
all along, Frump sought me.
I was on a simple woodland walk
when I spied a bag that seemed to talk.
I approached with exceeding care, wondering what could be in there?

I lowered the cloth and lo and behold,
there crouched a figure, not young, not old.
A rounded figure, dare I say plump?
"How do you do?" it said. "I'm Mrs. Frump!"
"Please to meet you," I replied.
"However did you get inside?"

"I never know, perhaps I flew.
Well, really, I haven't a clue.
Would you like to come to tea?"
Mrs. Frump said unto me.
I looked with fear upon her face
and saw instead her saving grace.

Two eyes as blue as mountain snow,
a nose with slightly rosy glow.
A cheek as sweet as to be kissed.
Oh, tea with Frump must not be missed!
"Yes, dear Frump, I should like it well!"
"Come along then, this'll be swell!"

From where I stood I saw a sight,
one that gave an awful fright.
Her backside was, shall we say neat?
Wherever she went, she took her seat.
Just imagine the view from the rear,
two marshmallows winking, ear to ear.

She had on sweaters and a dress,
her hair was grey, a curly mess.
Her coat was long and quite threadbare,
but, oh, the things she had in there!
Pockets she had, deep and wide,
wondrous things lay hid inside!

From one she pulled a honeydew,
and once-I swear-a kangaroo!
Then an ivory cloth of lace and linen,
an old postcard of bowlegged women.
A rusted bucket full of wooden pegs,
a centipede with ninety-nine legs!
A two by four, a four by six,
all in Frump's bag of tricks.
Just when I thought all was out,
I swear I spied a doggie's snout.

She pulled the little ripper up
and handed me a ball of pup!
It licked my chin, it chewed my hair.
Mrs. Frump produced a chair
for me to sit on while she sought a table
for the things she'd brought.

She spread the cloth upon the table,
looked at me and called me Mabel.
"My name's not Mabel," I spoke up.
"Oh, not you, dear. I meant the pup."
Mabel wagged her tail at me
and set about to making tea.

"Now what is it we seem to lack?"
Mrs. Frump reached around her back.
In her hands that she brought out there flailed a silver rainbow trout.

"I don't think trout goes well with tea,"
I suggested, hoping she'd agree.
"Perhaps you're right," I heard her say.
"We'll save this bloke for another day."
Oh, if you like giggles with your tea
you'd do well to listen to me.

"Do you take one lump or two?"
"One is nice but two will do,"
I said politely (wanting more).
She read my mind and gave me four.
Being the only one on a chair; I asked Frump if she'd like to share.

She said "I have a better plan.
Follow me, if you can."
Within a blink, she disappeared.
Things were definitely getting weird.
I looked at Mabel, she looked at me. Then we both looked up the tree
and there was Frump, dancing a jig,
dancing on a tiny twig!

I held my breath and closed my eyes;
next I felt my body rise
until I stood rump to rump
with none other than Mrs. Frump!
There we were, out on a limb
that appeared to me to be quite slim.
'Oh, sweet Frump, how did you do it?"
"Kiddo," she said, "there's nothing to it."

"Life's a picnic, life's a beach
and there is nothing you can't reach.
Just stretch your hand as far as you can,
and when your fingers are curled, open your grasp and find your world."

To this day I don't know why
we didn't fall out of the sky.
I must confess, I do believe,
Frump had magic up her sleeve.
For all she did, she did so well,
she wove us all into her spell
and there we stayed, happily so,
until it was time for Frump to go.

"Why must you go? We've only met!"
I sniffed and snuffled and my eyes were wet.
"Why must you leave? Why must it be?
Will you come back?" "Quite possibly."

"On one condition, I have one rule
and if you don't follow it, I'm afraid you're a fool"
"I'll follow it, Frump!" I said quite strong.
"For I know you'd never steer me wrong."
"Of course not, love. Of course not, dear,"
Frump dried my eyes and drew me near.

"Every day the sun will rise and set,
and the time in between is all that you get.
If you wish to be old and wise,
remember this: time flies.
Time flies. Spend your time in love and laughter
and you will live happily ever after."

Then with a giggle,
and quite a saucy wiggle,
Frump crossed her eyes and thumbed her nose,
spit in the wind (though why, heaven knows),
flapped her arms 'til she was spent
and when I wasn't looking, away she went!

Oh, I miss Frump, I do dare say,
and I look forward to the day
when I shall see with my own eyes
the return of Frump, the funny and wise
lady I once met
on a day I'll never forget.

Each day that dawns, I try to giggle.
If not a giggle, at least a wiggle!
Anyone can wiggle-you can wiggle your rump!
And then you, too, can be a Frump!