I feel sad. I'm not really sure why but I just feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. Is that depression? I don't feel particularly depressed. I have my usual worries - money being the chief one but I'm not in dire straits. I have been thinking of my mother a lot lately. The other night I couldn't stop myself from seeing her lying dead in the ER. I hate that that was my last image of her. I'm really missing her right now. I was watching some movie today (what else is new) and one of the characters in it found it therapeutic to write letters to his absent father. He never sent them but it felt good to write them anyway. Maybe I could adapt that idea into a blog. Maybe that would help. I'll think about it.

Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I need a distraction. I think I'll go clean another closet... wait a minute... The other day I cleaned one of my closets out and found a lot of my mother's things that I've never gone through. I couldn't do it so soon after she died, but felt okay about it the other day. I found a lot of old letters from boyfriends, some articles she wrote for my local paper back in the 60s, old photos, sympathy cards from when my father passed away... Maybe that's what's setting me off and making me feel sad. Has to be because I can't think of any other reason.. Maybe I won't go clean a closet out right now.

Now my nose is bleeding. God this weekend has been weird.