She danced with a boy...

*sigh*

The kid (I'm going to have to come upwith a new nick for her since she's not really a kid anymore :( ) went to her first real dance last night. She'd been to one before but it was right after school and I think all the parents were there. Last night was a city-wide junior high Halloween dance from 7-10pm. I had mixed feelings about letting her go though.

Originally this dance was supposed to be actually on Halloween, and would have been after school etc. which is why she spent some of her allowance on a splashy costume of Arwen from LOTR. She wanted so much to stand out and had been talking about this dance for weeks. Then Thursday she came into my office in tears because she found out that it had been moved up to the following night, and knowing my penchant for saying no to things she brings me on short notice, she didn't think I would let her go. But how could I look at her, with tears in her eyes and say no? I'm such a pushover :) Of course I let her go.

We picked up her best friend, who chickened out of wearing a costume (I guess costumes were optional), and I dropped them off at the Senior High gym, sighed, and went home to wait until 10pm. Every time the phone rang I jumped in case it was the kid who wanted to come home early.. But it never was. So finally when I went to pick them up, I found them both beaming and excited. She had danced with a boy and what's more - she actually asked him! I was gobsmacked! I guess I had thought if anyone would have danced with a boy, it would have been her friend who's always been a bit more boy-crazy than my daughter has been. But apparently her friend was far too shy to even dance with the girls. Weird.

Anyway, my daughter danced with a boy and came home grinning ear to ear and had a lovely evening. Me, I think I've now got a grey hair or two..

Leave him alone

Well while I wait for someone to send me some content for my little project I guess I'll blog a little. I guess the big water cooler discussion right now is that poor Cubs fan who's allegedly blown his team's chances at going to the world series. I feel sorry for the guy. I mean, I can understand why people are upset, the Cubs haven't been in the Series for 58 years and it would have been sweet if they'd have made it. But they lost their game faces when this guy went for the foul ball and allowed the Marlins to get all those runs in. They should have put it out of their minds until the game was over. Yes it was a moment of stupidity, but tell me, if you were a huge fan of a particular team, and you were in the foul ball area of the stands and saw a ball coming towards you, wouldn't you reach for it too? Wouldn't you be caught up in the moment of having a chance to grab a little bit of a semi-historic game for yourself? Of course you would. I don't think this guy intended to deliberately sabotage his beloved team's game. it was an accident and people need to let it go.

Besides, in the footage I saw of the incident, there were quite a few other fans going for that ball too. None of them looked like they were backing off when they saw the Cub running to grab it. This poor guy just happened to get to it first. Now his phone's been disconnected, he's actually in fear for his life. What is wrong with that picture? I understand the passion fans feel for a game they love. I know what it's like to be caught up in something and of course you hate to see defeat - but come on, leave the poor guy alone. I'm sure none of the abuse he's endured from irate fans can compare to what he must feel.

I also think it was pretty shite of Florida to offer him 'asylum'. That's almost like taunting him. How rude.

Anyway that's my take on the Cubs incident. They played a good season but couldn't quite pull it out in the end. That's ok. Maybe next year they'll be back with a vengeance. Who knows. Yeesh, and I'm not even a baseball fan.

Continued

So I'm still feeling stagnant. I shouldn't have written about it last night right before bed because that 'plain' feeling is sticking with me. And really, now I'm blaming my boss for thinking I have a wild life because now I have to live up to that *grin*.

I was driving into work this morning and thinking about what it would be like to do something different. I have vacation next week and I was thinking of spending it going out and doing a bit of photography. Fall is a beautiful time of the year - even in Nebby and I think it would be cool to go out and capture a bit of it. I can't use my good camera though as I don't have any film, so it'll have to be digital. I just want to be sure I don't spend my entire vacation locked up in the house watching Kiefer movies. Not necessarily a bad thing mind you :) I could watch him for hours. But I want to take advantage of the cooler weather and maybe nick my daughter's bike for a few rides, take some snaps and just try and get into life here.

Or maybe I should use the time to finally start writing something substantial for a change. It's been a dream of mine to write a book and become published but my problem is I can't think of a good story to tell. I can't even decide on a genre. I have a million beginnings of stories, but not real content. Maybe now's the time to pick one and see where it leads.

I don't know.. I write that a lot. I don't know. Well, I really don't know. I'm sure I'll end up just doing whatever I feel like doing, but I don't know if it will help me come to terms with having to stay here in Nebraska for the next six years. "Why don't you move then?" I hear you say... Well for a variety of reasons. The main one being the fact that my daughter is settled and happy and absolutely flourishing in junior high here. She's surrounded by her friends whom she's known all her life. I never had that feeling growing up because we moved so much. I used to think she would benefit from moving to different places as she grew up because I felt that's what gave me my love for travelling. But then again I'm such an introverted, quiet person - not outgoing at all and I wonder if having to make new friends whenever we moved has anything to do with that.

Anyway, I also can't move because my grandparents are the only close family she and I have left apart from my sister. But Kelly's young and lives in Cali whereas the G's are getting up there in years and who knows how long we'll have them in our lives. I can't deny them or my daughter the chance to be close to each other right now.

So there are two very good reasons for staying here, at least for now. So I will continue to lose myself in the movies as a way to pass the time. I will watch my daughter grow up to be confident and sure of herself - smart and independent and beautiful... And then I will probably get the hell out of Dodge and who knows, maybe by then I'll be published, doing book tours and interviews and hanging out with my idols.

For now though, I'd better get back to work... Oh and totally off-topic but I've added a link to my good friend Corey's spanky new blog I built for him so check it out. And I've discovered someone I don't even know has me linked on their blog - pretty nifty :)

My Wild Life

I was in a meeting the other day with both bosses and the rest of the department and one of the bosses said we should start the meeting with a little icebreaker. I thought to myself, 'Whatever...' We're a small department, we all know each other, there's no ice to break, but ok. Anyway, he says we should tell one thing about ourselves that was false, and one thing about us that's true.

It's so much easier to think up the false stuff :)

So my turn comes around and I say my two things and my Big Boss turns to me and says "You've had such a wild life, I'm not sure what to believe." To this day her comment stuck with me. Have I had a wild life? I never thought my life was particularly outrageous. I've done some stupid things. Done some cool things. Bad things have happened to me, but so have some good. I think I did have a bit of a wild and crazy youth - where I did a LOT of stupid things. But I had fun.

I don't know... It just seems like my life right now is plain. That's a good word for it. Plain. This is dangerous for me, when I start to realize my life is plain. This is when I decide to up sticks and move half-way around the world. Maybe I should just rearrange my furniture and call it good because I can't afford to move away from my life right now.

The other day I told someone I was pretty much resigned to remaining in Nebraska, at least until my daughter graduates from high school, which is a good six years from now. I was actually starting to feel settled here, if not content. Now the thought of staying here for six years seems like a jail sentence. I can't make anything exciting happen here. I've given up trying and convinced myself that it's not so bad. And truly, it's NOT as bad as I sometimes make it out to be. I like my job, my coworkers, for the most part, are friendly and fun...

Ohhh man. I didn't mean for this to be a moaning blog. I was actually just thinking about the things I've done or seen that makes people think I have a wild life. I guess maybe my definition of a wild life is a bit different from other people's.

Wheee Titles :)

Ok so I'm becoming more and more impressed with Blogger's capabilities. Now I can have titles. Nifty :) Problem is I can't think of a title first before the blog - usually. Oh well, minor inconvenience.

So I'm getting sucked further and further into my fixation on Kiefer Sutherland. *sigh* I don't know what my damn problem is. Maybe it's just hormones. I blame the internet mostly. Before I got online, I'd see a flick and think 'oh yeah, he's hot.' and that would be the end of it. Maybe I'd have a sex dream or two involving said actor deciding he couldn't live without me *grin* and well, that would pretty much be the end of it. These days, I have far too much access to archived interviews, trailers, movie updates, interviews other obsessed fans made of when they appeared on Leno and dumped online to feed my craving. I waste ages trying to delve a little bit into what makes these guys tick.

Believe me I feel incredibly silly talking about this. I don't like to let people see how weird I am but I've got a blog and I'm gonna use it. I want this to be a no-holds-barred journal so there you go. I... am a weirdo. Anyway, getting back to Kiefer... I can't sum him up. I, of course, don't know him as a person and never will really, all I know about him is his work and the articles I've read. No way does that give me any true insight to what he, or any other celeb is like as a plain old human being. So I think a lot of my attraction to him is based on the parts he's played. Same with the other 2 or 3 actors I get like this about. I like stories about tortured individuals involved in some kind of struggle - mental or physical. Kiefer happens to play a lot of those. I find it fascinating that in one film he can exude pure evil like in Eye for an Eye where he plays a rapist and in another film play an abused young man who's so traumatised that he can't speak as in 'Trapped in Silence'. Amazing. Maybe I simply admire the talent. Maybe I'm just letting my inner teenie out for a stroll. It's hard to say. I'm sitting here writing this, feeling like such a dweeb and yet also feeling like I have to explain why I'm a dweeb.

Actually I've been wondering who the next little obsession was going to be. That's how it works you see, I get hooked on one from seeing a film and then stupid me gets online and starts reading about the actor, or at least about the film that got me hooked and it just snowballs from there. With Kiefer it was a little different as I'd actually been a fan of his since Lost Boys. In fact, I can remember when that came out because my friends and I were so chuffed that it was filmed in nearby Santa Cruz. Half of the opening scenes were like seeing my home on the big screen :) Anyway at the time I was big on vampires and into Anne Rice goth-y stuff, so naturally I was completely *phwoar* over Kiefer's vampire. He was very yum.

So now that he's on 24, I find myself back into Kiefer-dom. It's not a bad place to be really :)

Right so.. Summing up, I am really just a hormonal teenager with the hots for some actor. I am just a heartbeat away from creating a fansite, and I have Jack Bauer as my desktop theme. *sigh*