We nearly made it through the semester without getting sick. My daughter had a simple goal this semester, and that was to have perfect attendance. I believe her ulterior motive for it is some kind of party for the kids who have perfect attendance. Ah well, we've blown it with a lovely chest cold. I hope I'm not next getting it.

So yeah I am staying home today to look after her. I know that she's capable of staying home by herself - we did it all last summer. But it's just different when the kid is sick you know? She needs her mommy :) I should keep it short. She's waking up now and I can hear the poor thing hacking up a lung.

Wheee fun

'Tis the weekend, snow is finally predicted (3-5 inches), which is perfect weather to snuggle up with a good book/movie with a cuppa and just chill.

Next week is Thanksgiving for us Yanks, though I don't think my family, such as it is, is doing anything for it. And I'm not cooking a turkey with all the goo just for me and the kid. She doesn't like turkey anyway and always spent t-giving picking the marshmallows off the sweet potatoes and biding her time until pumpkin pie time. Me, I devour all of the sweet pickles and black olives so that I'm too full for turkey. Sweet pickles and olives are a sort of family tradition and it's about the only time I eat either of those things, though I do love them. Anyway, I'm just not feeling festive this year at all. Christmas - bah. Not humbug, just bah. Seems like such a hassle, and frankly if I didn't have to make it special for the kid, I wouldn't bother with it. But she does love the traditions I've tried to keep up with over the years. Christmas has been hard for me ever since my father died. He went on December 21, 1992. I think that was the worst xmas of my life.

I used to love it though. My family did a lot of little things every year that made it such fun. We'd decorate for it the day after Thanksgiving, My mom gave my sister and me a special ornament that represented something cool that had happened during the year... My sister and I would speculate on the presents.. Dad would take us shopping to buy mom's annual presents of Red perfume and the new edition of Writers Market. Then on xmas eve we'd bother the hell out of dad by asking over and over if we could just open one present before bed. He always said no. When we were younger we'd do the cookies for santa thing. Then we'd lay awake all night doing some more speculating and resisting the urge to go and peek. When we woke the 'rents up at the crack of dawn, we'd ohhh and ahhh at the 'Santa' gifts, and then Mom would have doughnuts or make french toast or something adn we'd settle in for a whole morning of slow present opening. We always doled them out, then took turns opening so that we could watch reactions. It took forever but it was so much fun.

I miss that.

Areolas free pics?

Whoever searched on areolas free pics - weirdo. Now the real question is why did my blog turn up in a search for areola free breast pics. I can't think of the last time I said the word 'areola' much less blogged about it. Weird.

Just had to get that out :) So it's 24 night tonight (*groan* she's not going to yak about 24 again is she?). No I'm not going to yak about it here because I've created a whole new blog for it and it can be found at 24addict.com (Thanks Ratty!) as soon as my new domain name propagates through the net :) I couldn't believe that domain was available. Anyway all gushing/speculating about 24 will take place there and spare all 2 of my readers here further grief because I just know they're dying to find out how depressed I am about my finances instead :D

Actually I've decided not to be depressed about my finances. I'm so bloody sick of stressing over money and how I'm going to juggle the bills. Last week scared the hell out of me and now I'm more determined than ever to find a way to get out of Nebraska. I'm so serious about doing it that I'm considering actually letting the grandparents in on it. Once I say it out loud to them, I have to go through with it.

I said I was thinking about it... I don't know if I'm ready to tell them yet though. But I don't want to spring it on them either. Maybe it's best to ease them into it and get them used to it. After all, it's not like I'm leaving in a month. I don't foresee me working this out until next year sometime (and I mean towards the end of next year. The kid will probably at least be able to finish 8th grade here in Nebby.) I don't want to rush this, because I have to do this in such a way as to ensure success. I don't want it to be England all over again.

After i graduated from college I was in such a fever to get the hell out of Nebraska and had an overwhelming desire to be in England that I sold everything I owned and the kidlet and I moved over there on a student visa. While I had a wonderful time over there and miss it terribly, I didn't really make much of myself there. I worked in a pub, we lived at the pub aswell - it just wasn't condusive to having a child really. So when my visa expired, I stayed a bit longer, then got paranoid about being there illegally, compounded with a tyrannical boss, and we were home by Christmas. When I got back, I was no better off than when I left. A fact that my mother pointed out to me whenever she was mad at me.

So now I've got the fever to get out, but I've also learned my lesson about acting on a whim. But this time I've got several years experience in my professional life, and I'm going to do this the right way. I've already said that but you know sometimes you just need to reinforce it. Especially when life's getting you down and all you can think of is escape. I think that's why I'm so terribly besotted with kiefer Sutherland and 24 right now. Because I'm needing some bigtime escapism and hey it's much nicer to shut my brain down by watching Jack as opposed to downing a fifth you know? So to everyone of my friends who laugh at me for my little 24 obsession - *phhhhbts* bite me :)

Saturday night

Well, it's actually Sunday morning but I wrote in here last night and fuck me if I didn't lose the whole damn thing. Argh.

Well it was mainly just me rambling on about 24 and Kiefer again. I know I keep doing that, but I can't help it. I freaking love this show and I want more people to get sucked into Jack's world. It's such an addictive, well-crafted, well-written show and every character has so many layers to them it's incredible. And I can definitely say it holds up to multiple viewings. Even though I know what happens and the surprise element is gone, I'm finding I am picking up the subtleties now - things I wouldn't have known to look for the first time around. Anyway, I can't say enough good things about 24 and if you haven't seen it, see it. Right now. Drop what you're doing and go rent the DVDs.

As for Kiefer himself, well every film I catch him in shows me how underrated this man is. My favourite film of the moment is called 'Dead Heat' in which he plays Pally Lamarr, a young cop forced into retirement because of a heart condition. It also stars Anthony Lapaglia and Radha Mitchell. Pally's brother (Lapaglia) convinces him to get in on a dodgy scheme involving a horse and a jockey who's in deep to the mob. What follows is a chance to see Kiefer in a wonderful comdic performance - a rare thing and something I'd love to see more of. He and Lapaglia act off of each other as if they really were brothers - it's great :) this is a brilliant little film.

Anyway, I'll quit gushing for now. Expect more later :) Right now I'm thinking I'm going to go back to bed. It's far too early on a Sunday to be awake.

Bye Kelly

Packed off the sister the day before yesterday. Yes we managed to watch the entire run of season 2 of 24. She just got sucked in, much like I did. Chalk up another fan :) Was sad to say goodbye to her though. We had a really great visit, I thought. Usually after about 4 or 5 days of being around each other we start to fight, as sisters often do. Kelly's probably the only person in the world who can really piss me off. I have a slow temper but when it's up, it's pretty bad. But it was different this time. Somehow I think we were both glad to see each other and catch up with everything, and show off stuff, introduce each other to new things (yes I think West Wing's pretty damn good too) - that sort of thing. I didn't even mind all the driving.

I'm still seriously thinking of finding a way to move out to Cali. I've been checking out Monster.com daily looking for work and for ways to beef up my resume. I think it's pretty light right now but I threw it together on the fly. I want to move right now and this is dangerous for me because I am subject to following whims which usually gets me into trouble. So I want to do this move the right way this time. I want a job first and a way to carry out the move, a place to live, fair warning to the grandparents and my current job and all that good stuff. I am going to do it right this time which means I have to take it slow and realise it's not going to happen within the next couple of months - as much as I would like it too. I want to get the fuck out of here so badly. Today was a horrible bout of scrambling to come up with money to cover the bills and it involved much begging of the phone and utilities company, and a lot of tears, followed by a dangerous glimpse of mounting self-pity (why me? I'm sick of living like this blah blah blah) which I'd really like to avoid. What I need to do is not let myself begin to wallow in the whole 'I'll never get things to change so I give up' shite and actually do something about it.

I mean really, I don't make a bad living, I don't have horrendous credit card debt like most folk. Just student loans. Argh student loans. Anyway, the problem lies in that I have more bills than I do income. I work 40+ hours a week and am looking into getting a second job, which means I'll rarely get to see my daughter and spend time with her, which will have a negative impact on her because the last time I worked 2 jobs and was gone all the time, her grades slipped, she withdrew into her own little world... Right now she's doing so well... *sigh* I need a work-from-home kind of (legit) job so I can at least *be* there for her.

Anyway I'm going to stop rambling on. My mind's going about a zillion miles an hour though. Might write more later.