Author: Melia

Rambling about

Today I decided I wanted to go shoot some pix outside of town. The weather’s fairly nice, if brisk 🙂 and I’ve the day off from work and it would feel good to get out of the house for a while.

Instead of just driving out into the country though, I thought we’d go back to Witch’s Bridge. The problem with just driving around here is a lot of land is private farmland and probably wouldn’t appreciate a couple of chicks wandering around their land. So I went with a place I knew 🙂

We first went to Witch’s Bridge a couple of years ago with some friends from the paper as we attempted to produce our second annual trip to someplace creepy at Halloween and “investigate” hauntings 🙂 The first one we did was spend an evening at the downtown movie theatre after closing. I wanted these to be like Most Haunted, but kind of failed 🙂

Anyway, the kidlet and I, after getting a bit lost and asking Scott for help, we found it, and well, here are some pix from our ramble today.


Clicky 🙂

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Byebye 2008

This was a good year. I actually can’t think of anything too bad, personally, that happened this year, so that’s a good thing. No, this year was peppered with very nice things. I think the only trauma that stands out to me was when the paper laid off my lovely friend and coworker, out of the blue and actually quite shockingly. In the morning, everything was fine, tra-la-la, and by the end of the day she was in tears, cleaning out her desk, tra-la-fucking-la.

But she landed on her feet, as I was sure she would and is doing well, liking her new job and mostly happily in love with her new boy 🙂 So that turned out okay.

We got to travel a bit thanks to my awesome cousin and his lovely wife who helped us be there for my baby sister as she got married at the coolest wedding I’ve ever been to – not that I’ve been to a lot of weddings, mind you 🙂 And apologies to dad and his new wifey whose wedding was also very lovely. But Kelly’s rocked it bigtime 🙂 hehehe.

That’s my gorgeous sister in the pic there, just before the ceremony but after a little Kaluha 🙂 Pictures from our entire trip are here. And I mean all of it 🙂 From above the clouds to below the sea. From San Jose to Big Sur.

It was a brilliant trip back to the homeland, where I gained a brother,  I saw old friends, watched Kelly marry the man of her dreams, and who shares her love of ghost-themed TV shows, took the kidlet to some old haunts, played with otters, chuckled at the door to nowhere, reflected a little at the beach where my parents’ ashes were scattered, and stressed over rain on wedding days 🙂

This year we also got to hang with Dad on a couple of visits which we always love. One visit he brought the lovely wife with him and it was wonderful to see her too. I would really like to find the time to go back to Montana in the new year. Such gorgeous country.

Close on the heels of one beautiful, perfect wedding, we got to attend another, way cool, loads of fun wedding when my cousin married his longtime girlfriend in a sort of pagan, Wiccan handfasting ceremony followed by much beer and loads of German food. We stayed in a gorgeous freaking mansion, and ended the weekend with an awesome Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert.

This year saw my daughter really grow into an even more beautiful, intelligent, awe-inspiring young woman. She rocked her ACT score and after years of wondering how I was going to get her through college, she turns around and does so well in school that she may get a full ride at a nearby Uni. She wants to be a teacher. Isn’t that fantastic? I’ve never met a more talented, funny, charming teen in my whole life, and luckily, she belongs to me 🙂

Looking back at the year at the paper, despite the layoffs, and some drawbacks, we are doing really well and remain on the “cutting edge” according to one reader as far as online goes. I’ve learned so much this year alone about how to grow the paper. I really still love what I do and can’t believe I get paid to do this stuff. It’s awesome.

And there there is one more thing that makes 2008 memorable. This is the slightly mushy bit, so feel free to skip ahead 🙂 That one more thing is my honey. That’s the back of his head up there in my uhh, header, hehe, at the top of the page. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t question my luck, I just enjoy it. But I love him. I really do, and here’s hoping 2009 is even more wonderful for us.

For you, dear readers, I wish you life, health and love in the new year.

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Snug

Ah Christmas morning. I woke up before the kid though. She’s never been one to lay awake all night waiting for the earliest possible moment to wake me up to open pressies. She likes her sleep, even on Christmas morning 🙂 but when she did wake up, she brought me a lovely new fleece blanket she had made for me, so now I’m all wrapped up and cozy. She also made (click, click, bloody click) pancakes, so woot! 🙂

We’ll be heading to the Gs in a little bit to have Xmas lunch with them. We were going to stay in and have a day of those 80s movies, but then we got the invite so, the extravaganza will be delayed 🙂

It’s still been a weird Christmas season this year. I don’t know what it is about this year, but I just haven’t been able to really get into the swing of it. Apparently, several other folks I know have felt the same. Is it election burnout? The economy? I mean, is there a larger reason for this xmas apathy? Or is it more localized with people just sort of growing out of Christmas? Maybe for me it’s the first year in a long time when there hasn’t been a family gathering. Possibly the first year ever? I’m not sure.

Ah well, it hasn’t been wretched or anything, just… off. But I’m still a happy camper. My daughter is doing wonderful things, and is healthy, I haven’t lost anyone dear to me, my friends are doing well and celebrating many cool things, and I’m happily in love. I think I should quit overthinking everything and just enjoy the rest of the day 🙂 And so I’m off to hang with the grandparents, will speak to my sister, brother-in-law and dad later on, hopefully hang with my honey at some point, and then I can chalk this Xmas up as another lovely one.

Happy Christmas everyone.

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Dad

When I came home from my job at a meat-packing plant (ugh, don’t ask, it was a long time ago) on this day, December 21st, I got a call from my aunt telling me that my dad had been taken to hospital. He’d collapsed at home. She told me to stay home and wait for news.

So I waited. And waited. I cleaned things. I remember installing some kind of shelf in the kitchen. I paced. Then a knock on the door. I opened it to find my Aunt standing there. She’d been crying. The first thing she said was, “We lost him.” He was 45 years-old.

I haven’t thought about that day in years. He passed away on December 21, 1992. And the passage of time has indeed done its healing thing. I think about him a lot though. He was my dad all too briefly. My mom fell in love with him when he moved in next door to us when I was seven. So, technically, my mom married the boy next door 🙂 He was awesome too. A great father, funny guy, passionate about oldies music, devoted to his family and even though he was my stepfather, I never referred to him as such until I had to start explaining how I was related to him after I met my equally awesome and cool biological father. It gets complicated 🙂

I changed my name from Gleason, which is my birth name, to Romanski – his name – when I was 10 as a birthday gift for him and I’m damn proud to still be a Romanski, if only in name and not by heritage.

Anyway, I wanted to remember him today by telling one of my favourite stories about him – of which there are many 🙂

When we lived in Council Bluffs, IA for a time, my parents had joined a bowling league. Sometimes my sister and I would go with them and watch or play in the arcade etc. while the adults bowled. But on one particular occasion, I was home babysitting Kelly and enjoying having total control of the TV 🙂 I was just about to make some popcorn and enjoy an evening of MTV when the door opened and i walked my parents way too early.

Puzzled, I asked what they were doing home. As I said this dad had scurried off to their bedroom while my mother was doing her best to to break out laughing. I remember grinning and asking again why they were home so early. Then my dad came out, looking sheepish, and said that he had torn his jeans.

I asked if he fell or something.

“No. Hehehe. I was about to bowl, and as I took a step I heard a *RRRRIIIIP* and then felt a breeze where there should be no breeze.”

I stifled a giggle. He went on to explain that his jeans were perhaps a touch too tight, and that when he took the big Bowler’s step, they split at the seem, exposing his tighty-whiteys to the entire league. but the best part of the story is what he did next. He did not try and slink away in shame. Oh no, not my dad 🙂 After freezing for a moment, probably trying to decide how best to proceed, in typical ‘that’s my dad’ fashion, he turned around and faced everyone in the league, and did a little jig.

Everyone laughed and my mom was giggling all the way home. I love this story 🙂

That’s my dad.

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Blog-Blocked

I’m trapped between having an urge to post, and then not being able to think about anything I can write about. Someone said to me today that they like the “I Write What I Like” philosophy of Steve Biko. I like that too. I should be able to write what I like, within reason of course, I mean my family reads this thing, hehe. So I should probably at least keep it clean.

Ah fuck it, maybe I won’t. You guys know what I’m like, so you can skim past the bits that might bore you 🙂

I’ve had some ‘splaining to do on my last post. What it boiled down to is I’ve met someone. I wasn’t looking. A relationship was the furthest thing from my mind, for many reasons. But something wonderful happened one day, unexpectedly, and these days I could not be happier. He makes me absolutely soar in ways I’ve never known before and well, at the risk of sounding like a.. like a girl, I love him. Plain and simple. I never expected to feel this way again, I mean I’ve had my shots at the love thing and they were all wonderful, and I’m a lucky girl for getting to have those feelings for someone more than once.

But this time something’s different. Something’s just better and I’m positively jangling with so many overwhelming emotions, constantly, that it’s hard to keep a lid on it sometimes.

And hopefully that’s more of an explanation that some of you cared to hear, but I write what I like 🙂

Aside from the love thang, there are other parts of my life that aren’t too shabby either. My brilliant daughter may be able to go to a good university on a full-ride scholarship where she can pursue her dream of being a teacher. She’s extremely passionate about it and I’m so proud of her.

Work is fun. Stressy stressy fun but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Never have I had such a fulfilling job and I’m damn lucky to get to do what I love to do, and to have the freedom to do it.

And soon (too soon, I still have to shop!) it will be xmas and we get to go to Lincoln this weekend to see Aunty Jo and fam whom I have not seen for aaaaaaaages. I can’t wait.

You know, now that I think about it, this is sort of a rundown of things that I’m happy about, which is an exercise Wil Wheaton posted yesterday. Basically you think of something that makes you happy right now. Then another and then another. You can get on a roll, so the challenge is to just pick three. Ok, so I listed four here, but man, prioritizing happiness is haaaaaaaard. It’s just all good right now.

Ok my fingers are frozen (very cold in NebbyLand past few days) so I’m off to bed. Blogging regularly will resume because I FEEL the mood upon me, hehe (TESTIFY!) 🙂

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Coffee good

I haven’t been sleeping much lately. Not because I’m still all broody from my last post though. No, I’m good. Holidays can be wonderful things, but they can also make you a bit sad, but it’s only now and then. No, I’m not sleeping much due to excessive elation.

I seem to have found myself in a situation I never expected to be in. I wasn’t aiming for it, it just happened. In fact, I was just minding my own business, going about my days, doing my thing. You know how it is. And then wham! Everything flips, life changes, and suddenly all things are different. All things are better. The days seem brighter, things that should make you angry just don’t (I’m looking at you kiddo and your first warning from the cops who pulled you over tonight), food tastes better and so help me, coffee is the nectar of the gods.

Ahhh I wish I could go into details, but now isn’t the time. I am happy. Happier than I thought I could ever be, and before I make everyone reading this throw up, I will shut up 🙂 I just wanted to write it down so I can look back one day and remember this amazing feeling.

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Holidays

I don’t know why, but this year seems particularly tough as far as getting through family-type events. I miss my mom. I alternately miss her and I’m terribly afraid that I’m going to die unexpectedly young. I’ve never talked about that before but I’m trying a new thing where I write without editing myself. So whatever pours out of my head is what’s getting published here.

This is what I think about when I’m sitting in a quiet house late in the evening. Not all the time of course, but this time of year, it seems to creep up. It’s the holidays. I love them and I hate them. Christmas for me, growing up, was always – always – about being with my family and all of our silly little traditions. Dad would let my sister and I open one present on Christmas eve, but the rest were for Christmas morning. We’d have a nice dinner xmas eve (in later years this somehow included oyster stew which I never understood) and then I’d spend a sleepless night waiting for the earliest possible moment when I could wake up the parents and see what “Santa” brought.

Santa brought pressies for us kids until we were 18 😉

Don’t get me wrong, presents were nice, but what I loved most was Christmas morning. The smell of coffee going, and mom would be frying up bacon and making french toast. We’d all just hang out in our PJs and sit around the tree and slowly savour taking turns opening gifts. It lasted for hours and it was all of us, the dog and the cat just hanging, laughing and being a family. Dad would present mom with her annual gifts of her favourite perfume and the most current copy of Writer’s Market (she was always trying to sell her stories to magazines etc.)

After the gifting stuff was done, Kelly and I would spend the day playing with the new stuff or modeling the new clothes. Maybe we’d see friends, or if extended family was in town we’d be getting ready for you usual traditional xmas day dinner.

I miss this terribly. I never worried or thought about death much growing up. Never had to face it. I lost pets of course, a couple of them quite tragically. But that doesn’t prepare you for losing your parents. The first funeral I ever went to in my whole life was my mother’s. Mom wouldn’t have any kind of service for Dad when he died. She just couldn’t face it. They had the Big Love, forever kind of stuff and losing him changed her. She never so much as dated after he died. And she died alone. She had a stupid pulmonary embolism that killed her on the floor in her living room and if she hadn’t been able to make it to the phone to at least dial 911, she would have lain there all day until one of us stopped by to visit.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Not sure I had a point. Just that it feels like the holidays will be harder than usual this year and I’m not sure why. There are people who are worse off than I am – by far. I shouldn’t bitch. I have people who love me and whom I love. Maybe thinking about that will get me through it. And I will be fine during the brunch my Gran is planning and during the trip we hope to make to Lincoln soon to see Jo and the gang there. I’m sure this is just melancholy brooding. It happens sometimes.

So I may hate Christmas for making me feel like this and love it for the times I got to spend happily laughing away with Mom and Dad and Kelly. It’s not like I’d rather not celebrate the whole ‘being with those you love’ aspect of Christmas. I have Shannon, and family to make more good memories with. And it will be fine.

And I should go to bed now.

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