Cold in the office again. If I crank the heat though I’ll bake so I’ll just type with blue fingers. Wish I had something interesting to talk about. I feel like all I do is blog about how dull my life is, when it really isn’t. I figured that it may seem dull by other people’s standards, but if you’re happy with what you do, then what’s boring about that? I actually enjoy working on websites and chatting with friends surfing in general. I enjoy going to the movies or renting them. Nothing, in my opinion, is finer than curling up with that certain someone, munching on red licorice and watching videos in the dark. Especially if that someone and you end up getting some during the movie and neither of you can talk about the film the next day because you have no clue how it ended 🙂

Oh there’s that subject of sex again… It keeps popping up, forgive me. I only mention it because there was a movie once that I’ve never seen the end of because my significant other and myself apparently couldn’t not have sex during it. I don’t know what it was (and no, it wasn’t a porn) but we’d settle down to watch it and pretty soon we would be under the blanket paying no attention to the screen whatsoever. I’m not complaning though, I’d much rather have sex than watch a movie (*gasp!* Did I just say that??) – well really, who in their right mind wouldn’t?

Anyway, enough sex talk. As I said, I’m happy. I might be happier if I were to move out of this stupid city, but I’ve come to accept the fact that I just can’t right now. I’ll look forward instead to the day when I can get out of Nebraska, and the cool thing about that is I can literally go anywhere I want. I think I’d like to try the east coast for a change. California’s cool and all but I don’t want to live there again. I’m thinking New England 🙂 But i also liked Chicago when I was there, and I’d be closer to my friend Kat… I dunno, we’ll see 🙂 Better sign off the blog now and get some work done. Cheerio 🙂

So I made this journal a bit more public. Not sure why, but maybe I have some sort of perverse desire to have total strangers peek into my life. This is still a hidden link on the main site but anyone who knows how to view the source can find it easily enough. And I’m showing up in search engines, confound it all. Oh well 🙂

Went a little bit mad with the tax refund money (after the bills were paid of course) and bought a few nice things. Felt really good to do that. I still have a nice chunk left that I’m going to hang on to for a while in case I have an emergency – and I’ve been emergency-free for a while now so I’m sure something bad will happen fairly soon. Went ice skating the other day and had a lovely time doing that. Bit scary though as I hadn’t been since I was around my daughter’s age and my sense of balance has evidently gotten worse 🙂

There’s just not a whole lot going on in my life right now. Kelly’s moving to London next month and while I support her in doing so, I can’t help but think she’s not being very clever about it. And I speak as someone who wasn’t very clever about it herself when she went. I didn’t have a job lined up before I went, neither does she. I didn’t have a friend to stay with – she does, but London is damn expensive. I DID have a 6 month work visa to start off with, she doesn’t and any job she’s likely to get will be crap pub work that pays you under the table. So she will be working illegally. I didn’t move over there during a time of impending war and the government didn’t crack down hard on illegal immigrants (well, they didn’t bother me when I was illegal for 6 months). Granted Kelly is not from any of the “axis of evil” countries, and she’s a blonde white girl, but she will still be in country illegally after her tour visa expires. I don’t know… I hope she works it all out, but a tiny part of me hopes she comes back.

Ah well.. I’m signing off before I get all sniffly.

I’m going mad. I really think I am on a slow dive descent into insanity. Or maybe it’s just cabin fever. I can’t tell. The kidlet’s been sick for the last 5 days so we’ve been stuck inside apart from brief forays to the store and the doc and I’m sick of the sight of my place. Ugh. I’m even looking forward to going to my office tomorrow.

Anyway, that’s my life lately. Sick child, endless teaspoons of cough syrup, enough kleenex to choke a horse, worrying, feeling her pain with every racking cough in the middle of the night. I hate it when she’s sick. We had such lovely weather this weekend. She should have been out playing in it, not laid up in bed. *sigh* Poor thing. She’s on the mend now though. Turns out it was a flu turned bacterial infection so we have some lovely antibiotics and she should be good as new very soon.

Anyway, it’s taking me forever to write in this so I must not have anything interesting to say. Offski.

Oh my fecking head is killing me. Is it stress? Is it lack of caffeine? Am I about to have an aneurysm? I don’t know. It just hurts like a mofo. Luckily, I get to leave work a bit early to pick the kid up. And I have money again after sorting out the finances. Damn tax refund was direct deposited at a bad time. Oh well. I wonder if I’ll be getting my federal refund. From what I could gather, the student loan eejits hadn’t put a hold on it yet but were about to if I didn’t apply for forbearance. So I did and we’ll see if I get the refund. I’m going on the assumption I won’t see it this year. That way I won’t be disappointed when I get a letter saying ‘Ha ha, we took your money. and after 6 years out of college you still owe us the same freaking amount you started with because out interest rates are outrageous.’ Bastards.

Still doing pretty well with the film site. Traffic’s picking up slowly but surely. I just wish I could get more people to join and use the forum. Now that I don’t go to the placebo boards anymore, I have less to read online. I’ve never been a surfer per se. I like to have my specific sites I check and interact on and that’s it. And they’re dwindling now. I’ve no desire to go to any of the old haunts so I’m looking for new ones 🙂 I found a Lord of the Rings board I like – well, I like the info I find there, I’m not wild about the forum software they use. I swear I’ve been spoiled by Phpbb and Vbulletin. They’re like the luxury editions of forum software 🙂

Anyway signing off. Need to get Foundation sorted out.

Man. I don’t know what kind of mood I’m in right now but it’s annoying. Everything irritates me, I’m sad, I’m broke, it’s cold out side, the roads are a bitch to drive on because of snow-packed ice, everyone I know is just as bitchy and irritable as me… I would love to chalk it up to winter blahs. Maybe I will. That seems to be the predominant theme in my head. It’s cold outside, it’s cold in the house, there’s frost on the inside of my windows, none of my shoes have a decent grip on icy sidewalks so I have to walk like an old lady if I don’t want to fall… my forums are dead. I can’t figure out how to drive traffic to my movie site without paying through the nose for it. I just have no patience really. It’s only been up a couple of weeks and is just beginning to trickle into the search engines. I should quit bitching and be patient, but I’m a taurus damnit. We aren’t known for patience.

Anyway just needed to vent. I’m done now.

Wow haven’t written here in a while. Just reading my last entry and man, I must have been in a mood. It’s passed by now 🙂 My latest ‘obsession’, if you can call it that, is a slightly immoral lust for Elijah Wood. I dunno why. I think it’s tied with my huge passion for Lord of the Rings and the fact that Elijah is playing Frodo to perfection. I’ve been a fan of his for years though – such talent from such a young age. He was the quintessential Huck Finn I think. I’ve read and seen a few interviews with him and he just seems like a genuinely decent person and hasn’t got the ‘moviestar’ complex.

I’ve noticed that a lot of my phases revolve around actors who are semi-obscure until they get a breakthrough role and they’re just ‘out there’ more and with the Internet you get loads more access to clips, interviews, pics etc. Just feeds the obsession 🙂 It will pass though.

Anyway, I’m watching VH1’s ‘I Love the 80s’ and I feel like I’ve gone back in time. Toni Basil, the original MTV veejays, J. Geils Band, mullets, o-ring bracelets, rubik’s cubes,Square Pegs, Pac-Man… Ahhhh… Bless VH1.

Would write more, but I think now I’m going to go get rid of my Placebo website. That spark has fizzled. Still like the music, will buy the album, but with all the shite that happened, and with other things going on, and nothing new out of them for over a year, I’ve moved on. So my Placebo site is going to become my spot for reviewing movies 🙂

tara.

I totally think it’s possible women think about sex more than men do. The only difference is that women think about every detail from beginning to end, and men just wanna come. I have noticed that, with me anyway, it tends to be on a cycle. At the moment, every spare second I have turns to sex. Either pure fantasies with guys I would never dream of going near irl or replaying recent adventures. Sex sex sex sex sex. Geez. It’s annoying. And now that I’ve typed sex a bunch of times, I bet this blog shows up in porn searches eventually. I was actually thinking about how much I would like to have a non-relationship relationship. It would have to be someone I’m comfortable with and who knows me and I know them. And who will go away when I want some me time. I don’t want someone moving into my place and space and sort of invading my life. But I really miss the sex and the cuddling and snuggling and staying up til dawn talking about stupid things. *sigh* There is no happy medium.

Ah well, life’s a bitch and then you get some 🙂