Happy birthday Kidlet!

Except I guess you’re not such a kidlet anymore. Seventeen. The big 1-7. You are now allowed into R-rated movies without adult supervision. Congratulations! 🙂

Man. I can’t believe I have a 17 year-old daughter. Seems like yesterday that you were parading around in pigtails and your Disney princess jammies. I remember your first steps when you awkwardly toddled from one side of your playpen to the other. I love the funny way tiny kids walk, and yours was no exception. It was freaking adorable.

I remember how you were a very good little sleeper. No fussy nights for you. But you would refuse to take naps when all the other kids at daycare did. So you were up all day, and in bed by 7:30pm. Which is probably why you slept all night. Thanks for that 🙂

I remember when you FINALLY learned to ride a bike. Or when you and Grammy would be snuggled up watching telly. I learned to love Rugrats because you loved it so much. I just couldn’t do the Barney thing though, sorry. I remember you having a blast when you figured out how to stand on your head. Couldn’t keep you off it 🙂 Then you started school and loved it so much. New friends (some you still have!) and so many things to learn. I loved seeing you become a voracious reader – moreso than I ever was, and I’m pretty voracious.

We’ve had some rough times and some fun times. Lots of changes. Lots of sad stuff.  But lots of the good too. And for me, there is nothing more fun than hanging out with you and just being silly. I’m glad we still do that. I’m glad you still give me hugs and that I can tell you “I Love You” every single day.

You’re a phenomenal person kiddo. I love you very much, and I hope you had a happy birthday.

Love,
Mom

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Karavan of Dreams

So moving on…

This weekend, the kidlet performed with her tribal belly dance troupe at the city’s annual Ethnic festival (which is pretty much just a bunch of food booths and one or two places selling Native American stuff, along with all the educational stuff (Pro-life, pro-choice, Dems, Repubs, Library info) and some bouncy castles. And some bands and cloggers, and Highland dancers and belly dancers.

Here’s a couple videos of the belly dancers. The first one is the first song they did and the other one is four of the girls (including Shanster) dancing with their veils. I have more footage but man, youtube take forever to upload.

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Back in the saddle

Ok, back now. Calmer. I probably can’t/shouldn’t talk about it online much but the long and short of it is the paper went through some layoffs this past week, including 2 single moms, a guy who had just gotten married, and my very good friend. Two of the layoffs happened in the Online department, so yeah, close to home. And as anyone who’s been through stuff like this can attest, there’s a lot of weird feelings. Fear, guilt, anger to name three. Mostly fear and guilt though. Fear because it happened so damn fast and unexpectedly – in 15 minutes, the course of those four people’s lives were dramatcially changed. And guilt because you got “lucky” and were allowed to stay and you’re relieved it’s not you but then you feel like you shouldn’t be feeling relieved when people you know got hurt.

It’s very bizarre and I hope to never go through it again.

Knock on wood.

I thought all week long about what it would have been like if I had been let go too. If suddenly, the job I took a chance on 4 years ago when I left another job I loved to take this on and found I loved this one even more, it was taken away from me through no fault of my own. Would I land on my feet? Would I fall into depression as I’m prone to do. How could I provide for Shannon? How could I find another job as good and as great in this tiny market?

I’ve been through upheaval many times. Moved a lot growing up, rough, bitter divorce, death, and none of those were my choice, and I came out the other side just fine. Eventually. Even when it was my choice, such as when I upped sticks and moved to England everything worked out.

I think the same will hold true for my friend and for the others. It hurts. It will hurt. But things will work out. I think one thing my friend has already discovered is how many people cared about her and will miss her and would do what they can to help her. That’s a good feeling.

There’s not much more I can say about the layoffs. I don’t feel any safer, but all I can do is my job and hope for the best. Morale has taken a hit and everyone is shellshocked, but I’m hoping we can bounce back. I think we can, anyway. Still have a paper to put out.

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Goodnight Laceygirl

My sister called me to let me know that Lacey died tonight. I don’t know what to write. I’m sad. I should probably explain who Lacey is, was, rather. She’s a cat. But she’s more than that. We took her in when I was still in high school, and she was maybe a year or so old. She had been a stray so we’ll never really know her exact age.

But she became part of the family. We named her Lacey because Dad was a big Cagney & Lacey fan back then and it seemed to fit the little grey furball. Mom was always her favourite though. She was the only one Lacey would cuddle up with. She grew up an indoor kitty at our place in Monterey, and then moved with us to Nebraska. She tolerated the dog (named, well, Cagney. Hey, I didn’t name them) and ruled the house.

When Mom passed away, my sister Kelly took her in and Lacey went with Kelly back to California after she graduated from UNL. She tagged along when Kelly moved to London, and then back to California when she came home, and she was there with Kelly when she drove across the country to D.C. with all her stuff and Lacey.

We were (and still are really) always impressed by Lacey’s longevity and good health. But tonight she just… I don’t know, gave out. My sister was home, and was holding Lacey when she closed her eyes for the last time and I can hardly see the keyboard to write this. Poor Kelly 🙁 She’s very upset. I mean, it was kind of expected. Lacey hasn’t been doing well the past couple of months, but it’s still… Well I’m going to stop there. I’m just glad Lacey had such a long life, surrounded by people who loved her even when she was horking up hairballs and tearing around the house in the middle of the night for no reason whatsoever. She was an awesome kitty.

I found a few pix of her. My scanner’s out of commission atm, so I had to take pix of the pix. Anyway, Love you Laceygirl.

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Just for Cousin Hanna

Hannah sent me one of those very long, very random memes the intertubes are full of, so since I blog more than I email, I figured I’d answer it here. It was a fun one. But long.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
“Melia”- which is my middle name – is a sort of family thing. My grandmother named her firstborn Diane Melia who sadly died in childbirth, so mom passed the name on to me, and I passed it on to my daughter as a middle name as well.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I often feel on the verge of tears. Does that count?

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Nope. Hate it.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I don’t do lunch meat.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, a daughter.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Definitely. I’m very cool.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No. Never. No really. Never.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
No. Had them yanked when I was 16.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not even if my reward was dinner and a movie with David Boreanaz.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Banana Nut Crunch or Rice Chex.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
What an odd notion. People actually untie their shoes when they remove them?

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes. Have to be.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
At Benihana’s in Chicago they served strawberry ice cream and hot green tea for dessert, and when I put those together, I thought I was going to have an orgasm at the table it was so good. So I’m a strawberry girl.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether they will look me in the eye when talking to me. Whether they are actually listening or just waiting for their turn to speak. I can always tell. If we’re going for something physically attractive to me, it’s hands. I like hands.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red red red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My shyness. It’s hard for me to talk to people sometimes. I’ve gotten better at idle chitchat, but I find if someone intimidates me, I get tongue-tied and I stammer, and I say very dumb things.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?,
Well, among people I love who are alive and say my baby sister Kelly, whom I don’t get to see often enough. Otherwise, I miss my mother the most.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
I’m blogging this so this question is moot 🙂 If you feel like doing a meme, leave a comment.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Got my baggy jeans on and I’m barefoot. I try to be barefoot as much as possible because I don’t like wearing shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A bowl of rice with some Golden Gate sweet & sour sauce in it.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Matt the Cat’s show on the 50s on 5 XM station.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Flesh

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Flowery scents – Jasmine, Gardenia and Rose in particular. Love the smell of cinnamon rolls baking. Puppy breath. Popcorn popping. Hot clothes out of the dryer. Joop cologne. The way it smells right after a strong rain. Fresh cut grass. Leather jackets.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
One of Shannon’s bellydance classmates.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
I love cousin Hannah! She’s full of win and awesome 🙂

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I’d rather play. But if I have to choose, I kind of like going to a baseball game. But don’t tell anyone. I’m no sports fanatic.

27. HAIR COLOR?
It’s ummm, brown-ish right now. A sort of dark chocolatey. Trying to get away from my usual red red. I think I’ve outgrown that.

28. EYE COLOR?
I haz green eyes. Which is odd because they were very blue when I was younger. Dunno why they changed. but I dig my eye colour.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yep. The world is a 21.5 pixel gaussian blur to me.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Ohmygawd do I love avocadoes. And Portabello shrooms. Mmm Mmmmm.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies fo sho.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Heh, it was “Hitler: Rise of Evil” starring Robert Carlyle. It was a CBS miniseries a few years ago and I thought it was really good. I recently saw it was finally out on DVD, so I Netflixed it. So that’s why I was watching a Hitler movie.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Uhhh, red tank top. My chillin’ the most loungewear of choice.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter I suppose, only because I don’t function well in Nebraska heat and humidity, but I don’t like deep winter either. I prefer Fall most of all.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on who you’re getting them from 🙂 Oh I have to pick one? I can’t just be cute? Damn. Ok, I love hugs. Nothing beats a good bear hug. Though, you know a damn good snog is quite nice. But you probably don’t want one of those from your dad or something. So my original answer stands. Good friends/relatives – Warm and fuzzy bear hugs. A significant other – Damn good snog.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
I’m going to go with flummery. It’s feckin’ delicious.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND
Tonya. Though she may surprise me 🙂 She likes the memes tho.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Aunty Jo 🙂

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I’m reading Stephenie (what’s with the ‘e’ there where there should be an ‘a’ eh? That’s just wrong.) Meyer’s Twilight series. A lot of folks recommended them to me since they know I like the vampires and stuff. I just finished the last book (so far) in Jim Butcher’s Harry Dresden series and I love those books so much I felt a mild depression set in when I was done.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Nothing. It’s just one of those wrist rest squishy gel things.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
Nothing. I was online most of the night or watching the Angel DVDs while I work on writing an episode of Angel Between the Lines.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Here’s where I get predictable and say my daughter’s laugh. She has a fabulous belly laugh that’s just catching. I love laughing with her. If I can’t be mushy though, I’ll go with thunder. I absolutely love thunder.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
No competition. Beatles all the way.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Well that would be Engerland/Ireland.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Nothing I can mention in a blog my family reads 😉

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
At the old St. Francis hospital here in GI.

WHOSE ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
I don’t mind 🙂 who ever wants to respond can feel free 🙂

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Stagger Lee

I love this song. Lloyd Price’s version. Tonight I learned that the song was based on some historical events back in the 1800s or something (I’ll have to wiki it in a mo) and there have been numerous versions of the song dating back to at least 1923. This is why I love the 50s on 5 channel.

I’m on day 2 of an achy head. This is different from my usual searing pain migraines. It’s a dull ache that’s sitting right up in my forehead and I think I can directly attribute it to the weird fumes the monster copier has been putting out lately. It’s nauseating. I think I might see if I can work down in the dungeon tomorrow.

On top of that I had an infuriating day at work and I can’t talk about it so that’s probably not helping the head either.

Some good news though. Or encouraging, rather. Some of you might know I’ve been doing the whole attempting to lose weight, because well, I want to be healthier. It’s paying off too. I’m getting into clothes I haven’t been able to wear in a long time, and I *feel* better. It’s a good feeling. I stopped drinking soda altogether. Yeah I missed it. I was a Dr. Pepper girl. But as time goes by I find I hardly think about it. Been drinking a LOT of water, which I did anyway. I love water. But Crystal Lite lemonade is awesome, cheap, and satisfies my sweet drink craving. Also been drinking iced and hot tea as well. Some folks have told me they just switched to diet soda. Yuck. I have *always* hated diet sodas of all kinds. I had high hopes for diet Dr. Pepper, but to me, and my weird taste buds (the ones that don’t let me like fish) ALL diet drinks have a weird fake sugar/sweet & low aftertaste that I dislike. Just like ALL seafood has a “fishy” aftertaste to me. Besides, there’s still sugar in diet drinks and sugar is bad for me.

Also gave up fast food. That was always my Achilles heel really. When you’re an overweight person, it’s funny how people assume you’ve got candy bars hidden everywhere and that you eat cake and pies all the time. In actuality, I rarely eat candy, the only time I really have pie is at Thanksgiving, and yeah, cake is good, but the last time I had some cake I think was back in April at my little cousin’s bday party. And even then I ditched the frosting. (Besides, the cake is a lie :))

No, sweets have never been my problem. My problem is fast food. It’s too convenient. And it’s horrible for you. And I was eating it all the time. It’s quicker (duh), fairly cheap, filling, and easier to do than actually cooking. So I cut myself off from it too. Been fast food-free since Easter. And I do not miss it. No really. My friend Tonya has been on a calorie counting kick since New Year’s and when you look at the calories in a quarter-pounder, and consider that a QP meal with fries and soda is pretty much your calorie intake for the entire day, your mind boggles. And they aren’t good calories either. If I think about it like that, it totally helps me stay away. That and the fact that I’m a few weeks away from being able to wear some clothes I haven’t been able to get into in a very long time. I’d be an idiot to break my streak now.

My next hurdle is working on some sort of exercise routine. I need to find something that works for me (well, I know what works and that is swimming, but 10 bucks a pop to go to the pool is kinda pricey). I’ll find something though. My favourite thing right now – and I never thought I’d ever say this – is doing the household chores because I put on my iPod and I have a ‘clean the house’ playlist and basically I dance like a fool while I clean. It’s hella fun. I’m sure I look silly, but I don’t care 🙂 Plus Shannon’s been teaching me her bellydance moves. Those are quite a workout.

Anyway, I feel less grumpy now. Head still hurts tho so I think I’ll head for bed.

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